“No fair! How come he gets to go potty without me?” — Home Alone XII, The Cardigan Capers.
Hi everyone, and welcome back to the Saturday Funnies!
As many of you know, Turtle recently held a caption contest. First prize was 500 words on the topic of one’s choice, while anyone who supplied a word for a limerick was promised one of those five-line rhymes containing their word. There were two first prizes this time ’round; one story has been posted, while the other is still brewing, and is aiming for Monday.
I nearly entitled today’s post “Absinthe-Minded”, but I’m a very cheap drunk and don’t need the green poison. One beer and an hour to relax yesterday gave me all the inspiration I needed to finish composing your limericks. Here, then, are all four nonsense rhymes, delivered as promised, with the date (always a multiple of seven) on which each one will appear in my sidebar (and be posted permanently in the “Limericks of the Turtle” page). I hope you enjoy them. Thank you so much for participating in the contest!
The first limerick is going out to Mutual Friend Jane, who suggested the word “radar”. Your rhyme will be posted in the sidebar for the week of July 21st.
- I swear I did not see the sign
- (The one that the cops hide behin’).
- But the beer in the trunk
- Means the radar trap funk
- Stayed a minor, if sobering, fine.
Themarvelousinnature suggested the word “goldfinch”. It’ll see the sidebar on August 7th.
- A goldfinch alit on a thistle.
- He smiled beakily and said, “This’ll
- Fill the bill, yessirree!
- My tummy’s happy!”
- And thence he commenced for to whistle.
Here’s the limerick for Livingisdetail, who suggested the word “gloss”. It’ll be sidebarred on August 14th.
- A great glopping gallon of gloss
- Beats a barking, belligerent boss.
- Shine his saddle and bridle,
- Dust his arches apsidal,
- Andja won’t hasta kiss his high hoss.
Finally, here’s an eco-education statement that Goodbear can use in her wildlife rehab work. She suggested the word “barn owl”. It’s going on the side on August 21st.
- The barn owl has been misaligned.
- It’s mousies — not chickies — he’ll find,
- To rid farmers of.
- His face you’ll just love:
- It’s heart-shaped. Remember, be kind!
I hope you’ve enjoyed today’s offering for the Saturday Funnies. Have a great weekend!
July 19, 2008 at 7:59 am
Ooh… I love to see your creative mind at work — your rhyming schemes and limerickal talents are so sophisticated! I especially love the rhyme of “thistle” and “this’ll” — delicious.
July 19, 2008 at 8:21 am
Thank you times 10 to the power of three, Eyegillian! I’m gonna hafta google “limerick” and see whether these rhymes are as Irish as the town that bears their name.
July 19, 2008 at 8:46 am
And the answer is… pretty much not. There appears to have been a Victorian parlour version of rap contests, in which a line of the chorus entreats everyone to head to Limerick.
The Wikipedia article is a bit ambiguous about the rhyme, at first stating that a real limerick must be bawdy, and then quoting as its earliest example a list of virtues, written by no less a man than Thomas Aquinas. Shrug!
July 20, 2008 at 1:07 am
great limericks! “it’s mousies not chickies he’ll find!”
like them all!
July 20, 2008 at 5:30 am
Thanks, Goodbear! They really are fun to write, once I’m in the right frame of mind. I understand that Barn Owls were hunted to near-extinction because of the misconception that they wanted the poultry. That fact was uppermost in my mind when I was composing your limerick. I love the economy of words that a set poetical form forces on the writer; it’s a nice challenge.
July 20, 2008 at 7:31 am
You do it well, and the best thing is they sound like you are having fun writing them. It’s a fine skill to have to show your enjoyment of writing, *in* your writing, I reckon. I regret being offline for that contest!
July 20, 2008 at 7:57 am
I can’t seem to write unless I enjoy what I’m writing, Alyson. Part of that enjoyment is knowing who I’m writing to; that’s why blogging is so rewarding for me, and why my blogfriends are so important. Conversely, I remember a number of university papers that were written in a mad rush the night before they were due; I had had so much fun in the fact-finding process, but marshalling those facts into proper paragraphs just seemed like… work.
July 20, 2008 at 7:58 am
PS I’d wondered why you hadn’t participated. It’s terrible when real life gets in the way of blogging, isn’t it?
July 20, 2008 at 11:38 pm
I’m very impressed that you were able to find not one, but two good rhymes to “thistle”! I’ve never been great at poetry, much less the rhyming scheme and rhythm of limericks. Good job with them all!
July 21, 2008 at 3:36 am
Thanks, Themarvelousinnature! There are other rhymes for “thistle”, including a late-Medieval prayerbook and a carpetsweeper company, but their connection to goldfinches may be somewhat more tenuous…
July 28, 2008 at 11:24 pm
Limericks aside, I can’t believe that no one has commented on “absinthe minded.” Here I am, laughing out loud about that one, you clever thing. I shall have to store that in memory and haul it out some time on an appropriate occasion (with attribution of course!).
July 29, 2008 at 6:30 am
Hi, Bobbie! I find that comments — including mine — tend to be written about whatever concerns the writer most closely. Most of the comments on this entry, then, focussed on the limerick written for the comment writer, while Eyegillian and Alyson have had limericks written for them in a previous contest.
Maybe if some cluster at a party seems to be shutting you out with too much ethereal art talk, you can say, “And I understand Van Gogh lost his life because…” , turn on your heel, and head for a more inclusive discussion.