GC-14 and Little Willy

Geoff (stage name GC-14) adjusts his lapel mike. Photo courtesy Wikicommons.

I’m pretty fussy when it comes to pop music. I like a nice hummable tune, interesting instrumentation, and lyrics that mean something. As a teen I claimed to dislike disco because its lyrics were often insipid; some big hits contained only half a dozen words. (Though truth to tell, it’s just as much because disco was such happy music that moody Turtle Teen didn’t care for it. )

I never really understood rap music, either. There’s plenty of meaning in its words, even if I don’t understand all of them; some expressions seem to be new to the English language. But tuneless lyrics? I didn’t get it.

Shame on me.

In the 14th Century, a rap artist named Geoffrey Chaucer was knocking ‘em dead onstage. He protested the excesses of the Church and the inanities of the over-indulged; he joked about sexual infidelities; he took potshots at minor government officials. Most people in his audience didn’t own any books, and many were barely literate.

Two hundred years later, a radical named William Shakespeare thumbed his nose at the Puritan authorities and penned sexy, satirical, sensitive stageplays in a funky backbeat rhythm of ten beats per line. When the words didn’t fit quite right or didn’t express what he wanted to say, he invented new ones.

If the works of Chaucer and Shakespeare were taught properly in school — with emphasis on hearing those works rather than reading them — the commonalities between them and rap would be more apparent.

Stage entertainment. Rhythm and rhyme. Reflection and social critique. Ingenuity, passion — and spoken, not sung. Rap is POETRY, you silly Turtle! If you want tune, go listen to Silver Convention’s “Fly, Robin, Fly.”

Stream of Consciousness

Mired in thoughts

about this and that, here and there, now and then.

I muck around the ‘net

until time runs out,

and still my imagination is dry.

“Add New Post”?

But there’s nothing, nothing…

Then it laps downstairs

like crystal brook water:

Eleanor Plunkett.

She’s playing the harp.

Flow gently, sweet Afton.

Remember me to one who lives there.

Real-time Rock Music

Mick Jagger can finally retire.

Oh, I don’t mean anything about his fabulous wealth, or his knighthood. I mean he’s 65 this year. Paul McCartney is a year older still, and Keith Richards will hit the big 6-5 next month (December 18) .

So much for “Never trust anyone over 30″.

I’ve decided, then, as a tribute to all the musicians I grew up with (back when 680 CFTR had DJs) , to share some song titles and band names that might suit our well-over-30 lifestyles. Most of them might remind you of hits from 1975 or thereabouts.

Since not a single agent has called to sign me onto their country music label, I’m not going to waste my energies writing lyrics; best leave that in the hands of the pros. Here are my tribute pieces.

1. You’re So Vane by Carly Simon and the Rheumarhythms
2. Bad Blood by Neil Sedaka and the Cholesterettes
3. When I Was 64 by Paul McCartney
4. You’re in My Heart by Rod Stewart and the Pacemakers
5. Low Rider by Scooter War
6. It’s Hip to be Squaredancing by Huey Lewis and the Olds
7. Sister Bluerinse Hair by America
8. The Land Six Feet Under by Men Who Used to Work
9. Splenda Brown Sugar by Trying to Lose a few Stones
10. Get Up Today by KC and the Sunshine Band

Keep on truckin’, everybody!

A Little Bit Country

I like country music.

Wait! Come back here!

I said, I like country music.

Wow, I never knew you could blush so deeply.

Country music is kind of embarrassing. That’s why I like it.

It’s embarrassing because the lyrics go into a realistic detail that other genres don’t dare access. Country songs don’t pull punches. I find that refreshing.

So today I thought, What if I tried composing some country songs myself? Of course, I only have the first line or two, but you can tell me if you think I’ve got the right stuff. Here goes.

1.

• Well I’ve got straw in my bra from pitchin’ all this hay
• But I’m itchin’ only for your love

2.

• I only want one kiss
• One kiss for every bite
• I got from those mosquitoes
• As I patched the roof last night

3.

• We’ve got snow now, instead of rain
• I guess that’s the way it goes
• I see in the flakes all the disdain
• In your wrinkled, peeling nose
• And I know, Summer will never be the same
• Without you.

Whaddaya think? Is Turtle the next country sensation?

Will-o’-the-Wisp

Something magical happened this weekend. E.g. and I walked too near a “thin place”. Too much magic, too many sprites. And as Livingisdetail can tell you, the wee folk deserve our respect. There were tears; it was briefly worse before it was better.

Now ’tis better. A faerie singer has come to stay.

 

  She’s none too tall…

She needs some gentle encouraging each time…

And she’s very particular about how she likes to be tickled. But properly handled, she sings out sweet and clear.

Better still, she already has a playmate.

She’s E.g.’s bewitching child. “Willa,” said E.g., “I think I’ll name you Willa.”

Canadian Gold — Hey!

Thirty-seven-year-old Colin Oberst teaches a split grades five and six class in Edmonton, Alberta. He lives about five miles south of the city in the town of Beaumont. He is a big Oilers fan, a music teacher, and a member of a local band called the Surgents.

He is also a hundred thousand dollars richer than he was two days ago. Colin has won the CBC Hockey Night in Canada Hockey Anthem Challenge, and you’ll be able to hear his theme song whenever you tune in to the opening minutes of HNiC. Possibly for decades — the previous theme song lasted 40 years.

Or you could listen to the above video now.

Way to go, Colin! WE VOTED FOR YOU! WE LOVE YOU!

Second place was 13-year-old Robert Fraser Burke of Toronto. When I was a few years older than him, I came in first in my class at the Sunderland Lions Music Festival two or three years in a row, and I was thrilled. I might have been even more thrilled had there been any competition — not too many high schoolers were lining up to play French horn solos in those days. Robert has come in second in the Anthem Challenge, but at least his piece surpassed 14,998 other entries.

Good show, Rob! You’ve got a great career ahead of you! THEMARVELOUSINNATURE VOTED FOR YOU! SHE LOVES YOU!

Happy Hockey, happy Sunday, and happy Thanksgiving, one and all.

Hockey Music in Canada

Quick: What is Canada’s official sport?

I had to look that one up to sort out the answer. In the seventies, my Canadian Literature teacher told us that lacrosse, not hockey, is the right response. Turns out he was wrong, at least for a while.

The year my home-and-native land was born, 1867, our “dominion’s first national sport governing body… was formed.” And that body, despite cricket (!) being the most popular game at the time, was the National Lacrosse Association of Canada. The Canadian Enclyclopedia article from which I quote goes on to give the NLAC’s motto: Our Country and Our Game. But there was, in fact, no Act of Parliament designating an official national pastime.

Fast-forward to May 12, 1994, however, and we find that a hockey-loving member of parliament tendered a private bill to have hockey declared our official national game. After some discussion among lacrosse players and fans, traditionalists, historians, First Nations people, and players and fans of what has been the more popular game here for generations, a sensible decision became ice-crystal clear: we would have two official national sports. Lacrosse is now the official summer sport, and hockey the official winter sport.

And now we skip ahead to this year, when our national radio and television network, the CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation), decided not to renew the rights to the theme song for Hockey Night in Canada. This theme song has played for four decades now. It is embedded in the souls of Canadians all across this fair land, and stirs at least as much pride as “O Canada” ever did.

In case you’re unfamiliar with the piece, go here to see a Youtube clip of a 1997 intro to a Flyers-Red Wings match.

Last night, E.g. and I watched CBC’s presentation of the five semi-finalists — out of a total 15,000 (maybe composing should be considered our national sport!) — for the new HNiC theme song. We ended up agreeing on which one we thought would be most appropriate, and away we went to the CBC web site to vote. You have to register to vote, but it’s free.

And you don’t have to register in order to listen to the five semi-finalists; just click on the picture heading this blog entry, and scroll down the page to find the icy blue links to each piece, #1 through #5.

Also, you don’t have to be Canadian to vote.

What’s more, you don’t have to be a hockey lover. E.g. and I know as much about hockey as we do about small engine repair or lacemaking or the digestive system of arachnids. But we’re musically inclined, and… well… it’s a Canadian thing.

‘Tis Complex to be Simple

Well, gang, while Lavenderbay ponders pickles for a limerick, and raincoats and umbrellas for an essay, Turtle has gone searching on Youtube for appropriate renditions of theme songs for Gina’s and Dennis the Vizsla’s blogs. Gina and Dennis are good blogfriends with each other, and yet their theme songs are poles apart. I like that in a community.

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I. A Theme Song for Dennis’s Diary of Destruction

First, Turtle checked out a video for Dennis’s theme song. She wanted Johny Rivers’s “Secret Agent Man” . This song, she feels, captures Dennis’s love of disguises, his knack for getting into scrapes, and his suspicion of pretty faces such as those of Trouble the Kitty  and those cute little armed hedgehogs in pyjamas.

Fair enough. But Turtle doesn’t like a lot of violence, especially the red drippy kind, so it was hard to find a  video. The music videos of Johnny Rivers himself, on the other hand, didn’t seem to play very well. Searching, searching… Ah! This would be it. Adventure, danger, no ketchup, some physical comedy, and featuring a character in one of Dennis’s own adventures! Here it is.

 

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II. A Theme Song for Gina’s Public Diary

Again, knowing which song she wanted for Gina was, for Turtle, a snap. It is the well-loved Shaker hymn, “‘Simple Gifts”. But was it simple to make a choice of video? Nooooo. There are videos of guitar, recorder, and handbell performances. There are videos of children singing it for private functions. There is Marylin Horne singing Aaron Copland’s version with full orchestral accompaniment. There is a tribute to folk music expert John Langstaff. And there are lots of high school choirs trying to win local music festival awards with it. Which to choose?

When Shaker elder Joseph Brackett composed the song in 1848, it was meant for dancing. The Shakers, a celibate community who gained members only by recruitment or adoption, slept in sexually segregated quarters, had a gender-based division of labour, and even went through separate doorways. They wanted to live as though the Kingdom had already come, which to them included the Biblical verse that in heaven there is neither marrying nor giving in marriage. But they danced. Men on one side of the room, women on the other, but still and all…

One video, I thought, best exemplified the tradition. Shaker music was originally performed a capella, because it was felt that the Creator-made human voice was a finer instrument than any one made by human hands. This video has only one accompanying instrument, the piano.

And the performers are all one gender. And while most of them simply sing, one line in front dances. And these men, for the most part, are not married and don’t plan to be. Please enjoy.

Brother and the Crow Girls

Jazz and the Metronome Present…
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Hi everyone, and welcome to my first Weekend Quickies post! Um… I mean, short entries ’cause I need to do other stuff kinda post… Hmm… not doing too well yet, am I?

Anyway… This morning, in the space of half an hour, I listened to tracks from two groups that blend Celtic and Indigenous sounds, from two countries at opposite ends of the world. I’d never heard of either band before. Time to share the wealth with you!

The first band is called Brother. They’re from Australia. Vocals, electric guitar, drums. And bagpipe. And didgeridoos. Blogger S. Le  was commenting on Gina’s “Quirky Things” post with possibly the quirkiest band she knows of.

Here’s the Brother link. They have a playlist of half a dozen songs on their web site. Enjoy! http://www.brothermusic.com/

The second group, The Crow Girls, is a pair of Cree women hailing from Edmonton. E.g. found a couple of their tracks on CBC Radio 3 this morning and played one for me, without any introduction. Suddenly I recognized the First Nations vocal style as they came into a chorus. It’s a lovely piece, and I hope you find it worth the trouble finding, ’cause there are a few steps to take before you get to it.

• Start here: http://radio3.cbc.ca/
• Under the heading “New Music Canada”, click on “Genres”.
• From the dropdown list, choose “Roots and Folk”.
• Choose the sub-genre “Aboriginal”.
• From the Artists list below the sub-genres, choose “The Crow Girls” (it should be visible without having to scroll) .
• Finally, push the play button beside the track “Sleep is the Ocean.”

Have a good weekend!

It Was a Dark and Stormy Connecticut Farmhouse

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Hi, and welcome to the Saturday Funnies!

And also, welcome to Elizabeth, Wearing Stilettos & Living on a Farm!

Elizabeth, the latest addition to my blogroll, recently asked me whether I could form a limerick from any of her pets’ names. There’s the two dogs, Alexandria and Mabel, and the two cats, Franklin and Chloe. I told her I really like the names and that after researching her blog, I would see what I could do.

This morning, it struck me that instead of a bunch of limericks, I’d like to write one piece of narrative doggerel that incorporated all of Elizabeth’s pets. After reading her latest entry about a  thunderstorm and power outage at her farmhouse, I even knew that I wanted to set it to a tune I’ve been hearing at work on the satellite radio. The only trouble with that idea is that I knew neither the title of the piece, nor who sang it, nor any of the lyrics other than “Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo!”

My intrepid partner E.g. listened to my humming a few times, and investigated the Internet offerings. She started with a Pointer Sisters number called “The Neutron Dance” — woo-hoos and the right rhythm, but the wrong tune and scanning. She continued on the woo-hoo quest. We were laughing pretty hard after a while, listening to all the woo-hoo songs out there, but on the eighth try, E.g. found it! Woo-hoo!!!

The tune, then, is “Black Horse and the Cherry Tree” by KT Tunstall. You can Youtube it here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fykZ3PymMo

Now for the new lyrics. The bolded syllables are the four beats to each bar, to keep us on track in scanning it properly. I hope you like it!

Blackout and the Stormy Night

It was out on the farm on a stormy dark night

When Mama come home she couldn’t get no light.

Woo-hoo! Mmm-hmm!

The supper stayed cold ’cause there wasn’t no heat

The TV stayed cold like a block of concrete.

Oh, yeah! Uh-huh!

Ol’ Franklin the kitty ain’t afraid of the gloom,

He ate his kibble hoard in the exercise room.

Woo-hoo! Dee-lish!

The grey kitty Chloe never pulls no stunts,

Just climbs on the roof and goes for ladybug hunts.

Oh, yeah! So fine!

But little Ma-bel

The little Bea-gle puppy,

She said, “No, no,

I hate the thunderin’ skies!”

‘Cause  Mabel has a cast on account of a truck;

Her daddy saved her life when he saw her get struck.

Woo-hoo! Go, Dad!

And thunder sounds a lot like an engine’s great roar,

So Mabel gets as frightened as she was before.

Mmm-hmm! So sad!

Then Alex speaks up from the midst of the gloom,

Where she’s lyin’, takin’ up half the living room.

Woo-hoo! Big dog!

She says, “Mabel, won’t you cuddle up close to my side,

We’ll lie here peaceful till the storm has died.

Woo-hoo! Stay warm!

And little Ma-bel

The little bea-gle puppy,

She said, “Thank-you!

‘Cause I hate the thunderin’ skies!”