April 18, 2008

I arrived home from work last night to find E.g. hunched at her computer, causing hundreds of tiny stick figures to become tiny stick corpses, each lying in its own shiny little mosquito-drop of blood. E.g. is the one who writes the “exploratorium” found on my blogroll, or at least she has been until now.

She told me she had received a note from Exploratorium, the Exploratorium, a science museum, asking that she cease and desist from using their name for her blog.

I could see the museum’s concern. There’s E.g.’s blog, practically at the top of the list, the seventh item on Google page four. Anyone might be misdirected. And heaven forfend that she increase in popularity enough to move up to item 46! The museum might as well close its doors now.

Okay, I’m ranting. The museum is completely in the right: E.g. is infringing their copyright. I’m snippy, though, because E.g. had been very pleased about “inventing” her blog’s name, and last night she was feeling all crumpled inside like someone had insulted her baby or torn a limb off her apple tree. It made me want to rise to my full height, reach up and punch that old museum in the toe.

But they’re in the right. There’s nothing for it, then, but to look for a new name. I suggested a few:

  • Muirotarolpxe;
  • Explorservation;
  • Gillian’s Eye.

E.g. will come up with one on her own, of course, and all will once again be right with the world. But the situation got me thinking: What if the Estate of King Solomon contacted me, and told me I was commiting plagiarism? What if Home Depot claimed prior patent to the designation of their Right Blue armchair, and told Bonnie to change her blog’s title? What if Checkers Restaurant in Ottawa decreed that Checkers’s owner would have to name him something else?

Since I would hate for any of my blogfriends to be caught unawares, I decided that this morning I would, as a service to you all, prepare a list of alternative titles. And just to be on the safe side, for those blogs with tag lines, I’ve included modifications of them as well. Here goes:

Kibble Cup Owner’s Worldspreading the buttoned wool sweater dog vibe worldwide.

Cooooodyyyy Beeeeeeeeaaar’s Friiiieeeeeeends!

A Singular Instance of Quotidian Ephemera

The Aged Catsupbecause fridge cleaning isn’t for sissies.

Thegreatlyappreciatedindiverseenvironmentalecosystemsand -theirinhabitantsbothvertebrateandinvertebratevisit for applicable aphorisms.

The Correct Shade of CyanRecounting a lifetime of participation in underwater dives. No whelks were harmed in the making of this blog.

Some Reflections Concerning Life in the Cityabout seeking and perhaps finding a salvageable or inherent integrity or beauty or other positive value in omnes res.

Gareth Tedi blog — Canines of Celtic origin.

Voice of either the Testudine or Streptopelia turtur, depending on Your Preferred Interpretation of the Ambiguously-termed Lifeform

Hmm. Some of the above proposals may need some tweaking.