Blog-Day Afternoon

Edward Hanlan

For the last — and first — contest I held, I gave a full week till the deadline. I didn’t know who was out there reading my stuff, or if anyone new might stumble along and decide to get in on the fun. The contest closed with seven contestants, four of whom I know in real life (no, not my mom, but she helped judge the entries), and all of whom posted their suggestions in the first 48 hours.

I have since learned that most blog entries receive comments within a maximum of three days’ posting. This time, then, I shortened the lead time to 7 00 Saturday morning EST/ 11 00 GMT / 21 00 Saturday evening in Melburne.

It has been 24 hours now, and so far there is only an ominous silence (tempered by munchings of oatmeal-chocolate-chip cookies). In a panic, I consulted with a real-life reader over the phone.

“This contest is a lot harder than the last one,” she said, between bites.

“It is a bit,” I conceded. “But basically, it’s: you think of somebody famous and give them a blog title. You only give them a username if you want me to write a limerick.”

“All I’ve come up with so far is the Marquis de Sade,” she crunched.

“The Marquis de Sade? The Marquis de Sade? Explorers, inventors, cartoon characters, and you came up with the Marquis de Sade? That’s — like — oh, whatever. If you’ve got something, post it.”

“Except,” she said, licking the chocolate off her fingers, “I haven’t thought of a blog title for him yet.”

“Oh.” Straightening up again from the wall just before my forehead made impact, I tried: “How about, Mad, Bad, and Sade?”

“I suppose,” she said, flicking cookie crumbs off her knees. “But who else is there? I mean, there’s Homer…”

“Ah, but which one?” I challenged. “That’s why you need a few words for the disambiguous…ness… disambigi…fication… to know which one you mean.”

“Well, you’d know which one was meant if his username was ‘Doh’!” She snapped her dinner napkin before folding it. “But what could his blog title be?”

“You could call it The Idiossey.”

“You see? You’re brilliant!” she gushed, her mouth no longer full of home-baked goodness.

“But I’m poor.”

“We can’t have everything,” she lectured. “Gotta go, there’s a meeting at one. Why don’t you post the ones you’ve just come up with, as examples?”

So I am.

Example one:

“The Marquis de Sade, 18th-Century mentally unstable writer. Blog: Mad, Bad, and Sade.”

Example two:

“Homer, of the TV cartoon show The Simpsons. Blog: The Idiossey. Username: Doh. My limerick word: Kwik-E-Mart.”

9 Responses to Blog-Day Afternoon

  1. goodbear says:

    it IS hard. i need more cookies! just kidding.

    …i’m workin on it.

  2. lavenderbay says:

    Maybe next time I should offer cookies as the prize?

  3. eyegillian says:

    You really are brilliant. Just saying…

  4. Checkers says:

    This post is too funny! I don’t understand clever banter at all, but it’s funny nonetheless. How do I know a word like nonetheless? It’s like one of those smushed together German words. Wait, how do I know German?

  5. lavenderbay says:

    German, Welsh, and English are all Centum languages of the Indo-European family, Checkers, along with Swedish, Provencal, and Hittite. That’s why you can travel anywhere in Europe and understand any other dog you meet.
    As for clever banter… uhh… I think that’s when the little rooster manages to escape the stew pot. (Or is that too stewpot an answer?)

  6. livingisdetail says:

    So funny. You are clever lavenderbay! This is a hard one. I am thinking frantically but er, it’s coming along very slowly. I have asked the cat – she is busy with catly type things. I will see what I can do left to my own devices.

  7. lavenderbay says:

    The cat isn’t answering, Livingisdetail? Good, I’m glad to know you’re over your cold! 🙂

  8. Shelley says:

    Okay, you are asking me to THINK! That’s the problem here 🙂

    Since the 15th I’ve spent exactly 3 nights in my own bed, not in the air, not at a dog show, not in Montreal and not in NY!! I’m lucky if I can figure out who I AM, much less think of anything intelligent….but I’m trying! (I KNOW…very trying at times!)

    However, should any brilliant flashes occur to me (as opposed to hot flashes!) I’ll take part!

  9. lavenderbay says:

    The important thing though, Shelley, is not the winning but the participating! You said so yourself, not too long ago, I think. 😉

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