How to Lose 17 Pounds in One Day

 

That’s household clutter, of course, not body fat, although several of the web sites I was perusing at 04 00 this morning suggested that overweight and excess clutter sometimes extend from the same section of the brain. Not to worry, there’s no consistent correlation. I’ve known some pretty skinny individuals who were notorious packrats — my great-uncle, for instance. While his daughter and son-in-law were attempting to bring his domicile up to fire regulation code standards by taking his junk out one door, he was hauling it back in by another. Eventually they succeeded at carting away three dumpsterloads.

Anyway. I have decided to weigh the stuff in our apartment that gets tossed in the process of packing. There was 17 pounds’ worth today, most of it paper. The manufacturers of recycled toilet tissue should give us discount coupons.

I’m also weighing the cartons intended for moving. So far, the ratio in weight between traveling and trashed is exactly 50:50. Kind of exciting, isn’t it? Don’t you just love reality blogs?

8 Responses to How to Lose 17 Pounds in One Day

  1. eyegillian says:

    The 50:50 ratio of trash to treasure (or vice versa) sounds like a recipe for post-consumer material in recycled products… I wonder what recycled products might (in a perfect but possibly bizarre world) be made out of what you’ve put in the reject pile.

  2. lavenderbay says:

    Oooo, Eyegillian, I should keep notes! Your question might make a wonky blog entry.

  3. I like reality blogs, just as long as nobody gets voted off … 😉

  4. lavenderbay says:

    I couldn’t do that, James; I have too few friends as it is.

  5. Gina says:

    I wish I could lose 17 pounds of clutter or body fat. Either would make me happy.

  6. lavenderbay says:

    Maybe there’s a reciprocal system here somewhere, Gina.
    We need Checkers to help us with the math, comparing (a) the weight of each old magazine and flyer against (b) the calories burned by carrying each piece to the scale, and then walking the paper to the recycle bin… 🙂

  7. This so reminds me of when we were preparing to leave for our last overseas assignment (and it was the “last” in every sense of the word, since hubby retired after that). The agent for the moving company arrived at the house to assess how much stuff we had, so they’d know how much packing material to send, and so forth. Now, my husband had often teased me about how much easier previous moves would have been were it not for my “thousand pounds of books” — so imagine his delight when we perused the sheet with the list of our belongings and it noted, in block letters: “BOOKS – 1,000 LB”

    I’ve never been able to live it down. But I still have at least a thousand pounds of books! Hah!

    Good luck with yours…

    Bobbie

  8. lavenderbay says:

    Boy, that sure causes a semantic shift for the phrase “half-ton pickup”, doesn’t it, Bobbie? But yeah, I believe you — and your movers. Since the yard sale, I’ve managed to weed out an extra 75 lbs’ worth of my own books.
    Thanks for the good wishes; I’ll keep everyone posted!

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