Spooky Cookies


Okay, maybe I touched up the colour a little.

.

Today’s recipe, appropriate to Hallowe’en, is for dog biscuits made with beef liver, parmesan, and Scottish oatmeal.

Scottish oatmeal is a horror story in itself. You can — if you dare — purchase it in little plastic bags packaged by Bob’s Red Mill, an American company. My package describes it as “the original…porridge of ancient Scotland” which, interpreted, means “before anyone knew any better.”

It is not Irish oatmeal, which is sturdy steelcut grains that make a hearty, chewy dish. It is not big, flat rolled oats. It is closer to instant oatmeal, without the flavourings. It makes gross, disgusting glop. I now see why the English used to tease the Scots (and yes, my mother’s mother’s mother was an Aberdonian) about their oats.

OATS. n.s. [?, Saxon] A grain, which in England is generally given to horses, but in Scotland supports the people. — Samuel Johnson, 1755

Moving right along.

The most gruesome part of this recipe is tossing raw liver into the blender. If you have children, this step in the procedure is guaranteed to increase their bonding to their beloved waggletail friends.

I found the dough rather sticky. You could either increase the flour a little or, like I did, cut apart the rolled dough into four pieces so as to have smaller slabs to sling onto the cookie sheet. Anyway, here are…

Liver Biscotti for Dogs

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F/175°C.

2. Prepare a large cookie sheet. I lined mine with parchment paper. I think greasing the pan and sprinkling it with cornmeal would work too.

3. In a mixing bowl, stir together:

  • 2 cups whole-grain flour(s) of your choice
  • 1/3 cup sprinkly Parmesan cheese
  • 1/2 cup Scottish oatmeal (or quick oats)

4. In a blender, puree:

  • 1/2 cup beef liver
  • 1 raw egg

5. Dump the sticky slop into the dry ingredients. In the blender, slosh

  • 3/4 cup milk

to pick up all that wholesome livernegg goodness, and add it to the mixing bowl.

6. Stir everything into a dough and empty it onto a floured surface. Roll out to 1/4″ (.5 cm) .

7. Set on cookie sheet. Score in half-inch (centimetre-wide) columns. Bake about 25 minutes.

8. When cool enough to handle, break apart the strips. Slice the strips crosswise to resemble little biscottis.

Yield: 6 cups (1.5 l) .

Keeps: 1 week, covered, in fridge. Freezable.

These teeny bickies are a hit with Cai and Fergus, and might even be acceptable to — dare I mention them? — the Were Corgis.

Happy Hallowe’en!

6 Responses to Spooky Cookies

  1. Gina says:

    You have two very lucky little fellas.

  2. lavenderbay says:

    Thanks, Gina! Though I must say, I feel equally lucky to have three family members who appreciate my cooking!

  3. Dennis the Vizsla says:

    I’m going to make sure my wife sees this recipe, and I’m also going to make sure I’m not around when she cooks it!

  4. lavenderbay says:

    That’s kinda sweet, James, your attestation to your wife’s bravery!

  5. Alyson says:

    How about cleaning the blender later? I think that would be the hardest part of this recipe, they actually sound pretty good. I think I need some more iron.

  6. lavenderbay says:

    The blender will be partly washed out by swirling the milk in it — pretty sneaky, eh? And I guess if you have a few of the biscuits they’ll supply enough iron for you to unscrew the bottom of the blender vessel. You know, I’ve heard that a lack of iron might be the reason some of us get easily distracted from

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