Real-time Rock Music

Mick Jagger can finally retire.

Oh, I don’t mean anything about his fabulous wealth, or his knighthood. I mean he’s 65 this year. Paul McCartney is a year older still, and Keith Richards will hit the big 6-5 next month (December 18) .

So much for “Never trust anyone over 30”.

I’ve decided, then, as a tribute to all the musicians I grew up with (back when 680 CFTR had DJs) , to share some song titles and band names that might suit our well-over-30 lifestyles. Most of them might remind you of hits from 1975 or thereabouts.

Since not a single agent has called to sign me onto their country music label, I’m not going to waste my energies writing lyrics; best leave that in the hands of the pros. Here are my tribute pieces.

  1. You’re So Vane by Carly Simon and the Rheumarhythms
  2. Bad Blood by Neil Sedaka and the Cholesterettes
  3. When I Was 64 by Paul McCartney
  4. You’re in My Heart by Rod Stewart and the Pacemakers
  5. Low Rider by Scooter War
  6. It’s Hip to be Squaredancing by Huey Lewis and the Olds
  7. Sister Bluerinse Hair by America
  8. The Land Six Feet Under by Men Who Used to Work
  9. Splenda Brown Sugar by Trying to Lose a few Stones
  10. Get Up Today by KC and the Sunshine Band

Keep on truckin’, everybody!

10 Responses to Real-time Rock Music

  1. I only recognize number one. I’m sure if I heard the others I’d say something on the lines of “oh! I know that song.”

  2. lavenderbay says:

    I’m not sure how many of those my 26-year-old son would recognize either, Urban Thought. So here’s the “spoiler” for you:
    #1 is what started this idea. A storm is coming, and my left knee is starting to ache. I called myself a weather vane, then thought of Carly Simon’s song as a pun (vain/vane) .
    The other songs were originally:
    #2 “Bad Blood” by Neil Sedaka
    #3 “When I’m 64” by the Beatles (only half of whom lived to that age)
    #4 “You’re in My Heart” by Rod Stewart
    #5 “Low Rider” by War
    #6 “It’s Hip to be Square” by Huey Lewis and the News
    #7 “Sister Golden Hair” by America
    #8 “The Land Down Under” by Men at Work
    #9 “Brown Sugar” by the Rolling Stones
    # 10 “Get Down Tonight” by KC and the Sunshine Band

    Oh, and it’s not just the age gap, either, but the massive repertoire available (even back in the stone-age seventies) . E.g. and I are only six months apart, but we don’t recognize half the stuff the other one listened to as a teen.

  3. Alyson says:

    Sister Bluerinse Hair Surprise! It would totally work!

    SH and I are the same age and have totally different memories of 70’s & 80’s music…mainly because I liked the Brit Pop of the 80’s while he liked the US stuff. Between the two of us, we have the kids stuffed with all the music covers sneaking back in on the current charts…”HOW do YOU know THIS song Mum? It’s like brand new??”

  4. lavenderbay says:

    When I was reaching for the last two or three list items, Alyson, I did some researching and found a page with top hits from 1975 — the States on one side and Britain on the other. I recognized all 35 of the American hits immediately, but twelve of the 21 British hits were a mystery — and several of the ones I did know were Amercian country tunes!

  5. Hmm, how about “You’re So Vein” instead?

    “You’re so vein, you’ve got to wear those compression stockings …”

  6. BTW I’m not sure what’s more mind-boggling, that Sir Paul and the rest are over 65, or that I’m going to turn 40 next year … 😮

  7. lavenderbay says:

    The varicose veins occurred to me too, James, but I didn’t know how to express it. “Carly Simon and the Compression Stockings” is great!

    Wow, 40! Maybe it’s part of the Vast Rodent Conspiracy? You’d better get Dennis on the case. BTW, I was in the Dundalk Feed Store today and saw…drumroll… my first gopher trap! Now I have a better idea of what’s going on in your latest episodes.

  8. Gina says:

    I recognized all of your remakes! We are around the same age…maybe that’s why???

  9. Kevin Banks says:

    The fathers of rock!

  10. lavenderbay says:

    I’m glad you appreciated the list, Gina. I’d say it’s because you have impeccable taste in pop music! 😀

    They certainly are, Kevin — though they’re probably more like the grandfathers by now!
    BTW, I always vet new comments, especially when they’re linked to a commercial site. Your site was interesting enough — and your comment suggests that you actually read my post! — that I’ve let you through. Good morning, southern Africa!

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