Jobs Available on Planet Gheekon

The other day when I was trying to resurrect my terminally-ill computer, I noted a number of — what? functions, systems — that the diagnostics were checking out.

First came a series of tests. I jotted down the test names, thinking these would make good general candidate exams for any Human Resources department.

Later on, I copied out some other mysterious entities that were being tested. These items, to me, sounded like interesting occupations. One of them is already a bona fide vocation here on Earth; the others I’m not so sure about. I hope at least one of them gives you a smile, as you imagine what the job descriptions would look like.

The HR tests:

  • Confidence
  • Device Self-test
  • Read
  • Seek
  • SMART
  • Start/idle
  • Stop/stand by
  • Verify.

The jobs availabe on Planet Gheekon:

  • Human Interface Parser
  • Volume Manager
  • Enhanced Host Controller
  • Host Adapter
  • RAID Controller
  • Kernel Security Driver
  • Kernel Debugger
  • Bus Driver.

Ace the HR tests, and you, too, will be on your way to a new career!

5 Responses to Jobs Available on Planet Gheekon

  1. goodbear says:

    i was start/idle earlier today, but currently i’m stop/stand by.

  2. almostgotit says:

    Brilliant!! I love these. Why, I’ve already done several of Planet Gheekon’s jobs already today: enhanced host controlling(flea meds on 3 pets — hey, that’s kernal debugging, too, eh?); Volume management (emptied trash cans) and Bus driver (kid to used book store)

    CLEARLY I LIVE ON THE WRONG PLANET!!!!

  3. lavenderbay says:

    And it’s time for me to test my Verify, Goodbear: What have I got for lunch?

    Excellent work, Almostgotit! You’d be making big money there. I pictured “host controlling” as making sure someone remains civil to his party guests, but I like your definition better.

  4. You have a RAID controller in your computer? I had one in my old machine (because I put it there) but it’s not the usual sort of thing you find in a home machine. I’m impressed!

  5. lavenderbay says:

    Well, James, lemme just buff my nails on my shirt in a sordid attempt to look pleased that you’re impressed with something about which I haven’t the slightest clue. It was a Dell something-or-other laptop bought in June 2004. The new one is an HP. I can’t tell you if it has any RAID controllers, but it does have a keypad and a really cute little startup sound.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: