Contradictions in Human Behaviour

Hello, everyone. Fergus here; Mother says I need to stay off my paws today, but that I may amuse myself on her computer if I so wish. I do wish, because I would like to present an anomaly in human cerebroneural functioning that I find fascinating.

From here in the living room, you can see that Mother has removed nearly three-quarters of the loose fill that had held a large sailboat for the previous home owner. Mother has carted it by the barrowful to various places on the property.

In her latest mania, she has used it to halt erosion and stray bouncy balls at the back of the property…

…to cover spruce roots…

…and to form pathways around the garage, and from the garage to the raised vegetable beds. When not hauling gravel, Mother finds equally scintillating activities such as sifting the soil she removes while cutting paths, or rolling large stones across the lawn to fill in bouncy ball gaps on the neighbours’ fenceline.

Now we come to the oddity in human thought processes. Two days ago, Mother made this patio. “What’s a patio for?” I enquired.

“It’s to sit on, to take a break and watch the birds,” she replied.

I tried not to laugh outright.

15 Responses to Contradictions in Human Behaviour

  1. Oh, but you looks so dashing there Fergus!

  2. Tony says:

    Fergus is an awesome name Fergus. It’s one of my favourite Irish/Scottish sounding names. Your Mum sure has done a lot of work in the yard & it all pays off in the end. I am sure you are a strict a Backyard Site Supervisor like our Dixie is. Just remember to keep her working so stuff gets done. We humans get lazy if we just lounge around.

  3. S. Le says:

    Take it easy on your Mum! She is working hard! I understand doggies don’t need a special place to sit and watch birds and I do think the patio should be a bit larger to accommodate more doggies and their people. Give her a chance to prove it’s worth.

    BTW: What’s it sound like when a dog laughs?

  4. lavenderbay says:

    Fergus says:

    Thank you for noticing, Stephanie! Dashing is my specialty.

    My mothers say my name suits me, Tony, although they pronounce it far less elegantly when I chase a cat across the street. Please tell Dixie that I commiserate with her over the challenges of perimeter control duties.

    You’re quite right, S. Le; it would be rude to bite the hand that feeds me.
    Mother says the patio is large enough for two folding chairs; furthermore, she intends to fill in behind it with shrubberies to increase the sense of concealment and isolation that humans call “privacy”.
    Dog laughter begins with a broad grin, followed by intermittent, high-pitched barks. In situations when laughter would be inappropriate, a dog can mask his mirth by yawning and running three or four laps of the backyard.

  5. Alyson says:

    Awww you look so white and good sitting on your patio rocks…not even naughty at all!

  6. lavenderbay says:

    Fergus says:

    Thank you, Alyson. Being the baby of the family gives me an enormous amount of leverage in the gullibility department.

  7. livingisdetail says:

    You do look very dapper, Fergus. Your Mum has done a wonderful job placing those stones to make the patio. It is a very stylish job. The outline of the patio is nice and irregular, so it will blend beautifully into the garden. Fergus, I am more than a little obsessed with stone, so this has been a joy to see. I really like the choice of the reddish stone at the front as a focal point.

  8. lavenderbay says:

    Fergus says:

    I’m glad you enjoyed this exposé, Livingisdetail. Mother hasn’t written any blog posts lately because the high point of her week has been getting her fingernails clean.
    Mother, too, said something about a natural look to the patio, but when I behaved perfectly naturally and rolled in a raised vegetable bed, she ordered me out. Do I detect a double standard?

  9. Shelley says:

    OMG Fergus – have you ever turned out to be a handsome boy. 🙂

  10. lavenderbay says:

    Fergus says:

    What’s bred in the bone, Auntie…you may regard me as a small star in your constellation of winners.

    Lavenderbay says:

    Hi, Shelley! Yes, Fergus is a handsome, cuddly sweetheart, and gradually mellowing when it comes to wheeled things, etc. Don’t let his snooty tone of voice fool you.

  11. Fergus, think of all the money your Mom is saving, getting her exercise in the backyard instead of at a gym. Probably, she will be buying basketsful of treats for you to enjoy as you relax on the patio!

  12. lavenderbay says:

    Fergus says:
    That is indeed a lovely thought, Barefootheart. If only I can persuade her to sit still long enough to remember said treats. It’s difficult enough to have her throw the bouncy ball; sometimes Cai and I must wait an entire minute.

  13. hello fergus its dennis the vizsla dog hay wow yoo shoor ar artikyoolat!!! they must hav a grayt edjookayshunal sistem in the mithical land of cananda!!! ok bye

  14. pennycat says:

    Fergus, oddly enough my Human Mother does the same strange things here in New York. Yep, moving dirt, hauling rocks, and chopping weeds……weird!!!

  15. lavenderbay says:

    Fergus says:

    Hello, Dennis. Education varies greatly from canine to canine. My housemate Cai’s vocabulary, for example, extends to “Let’s play ball!”, “Is that a ball? Gimme gimme!”, and “My ball is stuck under the couch/coffee table/bookshelf!”

    It is, indeed, puzzling, Pennycat. Your comment does help to clarify, however, the affinity between Mother and your Human Mom.

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